Top 5 Things the Redskins Need to Do on Offense.

1. Go No Huddle. This offense is inferior talent-wise at nearly every position to the defenses that they will be facing for the remainder of the season. The purpose of the No Huddle is to limit substitutions, create fatigue in the opposing defense, and create play-calling issues for the opposing defense. All of these seem like viable needs for the Redskins offense. Of course, it requires a quarterback capable of running a No Huddle offense…
2. Run the Spread. Being from Big XII country, I am very familiar with the Spread offense. It’s what peripheral programs like Texas Tech and Mizzou have adopted to overcome the recruiting edge of their conference opponents. Seeing as the Skins are in much the same situation, with Danny and Vinny at the controls, I think that the Spread is their only option. The purpose of the Spread is to not have to “rely as much on QBs, receivers, and running backs making the correct reads on every play” (the opposite of Zorn’s approach). It “allows coaches to be more involved in each play”, protecting teams from bad decision making – which is what the Skins need. Of course, it requires a coach capable of calling the Spread offense…
3. Run the Wildcat. The obvious need for this is the lack of depth or ability at the QB position. Not to mention, that the Skins have a capable asset in the Wildcat: Antwan Randle El. I don’t know if Rock Cartwright or Ladell Betts take the direct snaps, too, but the scheme “presents the defense with an immediate threat to the outside that it must respect no matter what the offense decides to do with the football”, this is something that the Skins, thus far, do not have. Also, “many teams admit to spending an inordinate amount of time having to prepare for such a scheme” – any advantage that the Skins can create at this point, would be their only advantage. I’d say 15-30% of all offensive plays out of this formation.
4. Trade Todd Collins. I know that the above things seem like gimmicks, but they are no more of a gimmick than putting Todd Collins in for the second half of Sunday’s game. Todd Collins parlayed 4 games into a big paycheck, but the second that Danny decided that Al Saunders was leaving, Collins should have gone with him. See if Saunders wants him back. See if they can pick up Troy Smith for cheap. Troy Smith is not the answer, but maybe he can take 3-5 snaps/ game out of the Wildcat. Whatever the case may be, Todd Collins serves no purpose on this team.
5. Free up Cooley. This is the workhorse of this team. This is the guy who makes things happen. He had ZERO TDs last year, he has 2 this year. Is there any more glaring statistic in the complete impotence of this offense than that?!? Move him into an HB situation, move him to the slot, Hell… move him somewhere. There can’t be any discernible difference having Yoder and Davis blocking, than having Cooley, and you’re wasting your best offensive asset.

Top 5 Countries We Could Buy With The "Stimulus" Bill

Over at the Heritage Foundation, they did a great job of compiling information on the "Syimulus" package. It summed it up with the following; "The 'Stimulus' bills your family $825 Billion - equivalent to $10,520 from EVERY FAMILY IN AMERICA." You can read the article here:

http://blog.heritage.org/2009/01/27/stimulus-101-the-pelosi-reid-obama-debt-plan/

Nonetheless, the efforts by cooler heads to avert this financial disaster were unsuccessful, and now we are on the hook for $1.4 Trillion dollars in kickbacks to Democratic constituencies. To try and put that in perspective, I have put together a list of my Top 5 countries, by GDP, that we could "own", as opposed to the pet projects that we will now "own". Read 'em and weep:

5. Saint Kitts and Nevis($527,000,000). The "Stimulus" package calls for $650,000,000 for the Digital Converter Box coupon program. Seriously. It's 2009. If you don't have cable or a satellite dish, you're not serious about watching TV. We could buy the islands, ship out every analog yahoo, and still save money. It's win-win:

4. Aruba ($2.258 Billion). You could have the "Happy Little Island" for the same amount that Libs want to spend on a "zero-emissions" coal plant in Dunham-Obama-Soetoro's home state of Illinois. A coal plant or an island paradise? You be the judge. Besides, this way, we could finally get some real cops on the Natalie Hollowell case, and we could give Greta Van Susteren a shot at that smarmy little Joran van der Sloot.

3. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea ($25,960,000,000). I mean, we've already entrusted a Clinton to handle this problem, and he wound up costing us more than this in the process. Do you really think Ol' Cankles is going to do much better? Let's just buy the place and be done with it. What could be more stimulating to our economy than 24 million Happy Meals???

2. Saudi Arabia ($376,000,000,000). I mean, how many problems would this solve? For starters, let's put a Wal*Mart at the Al-Masjid al-Harām. A true pilgrimage would surely ensue. Let's then put the Marxists who have run America's public school system into the ground in charge of the madrasas. At least, when they learn to hate America, they'll be too lazy and too stupid to do anything about it. And, we can end this ridiculous infatuation with "green" projects and "alternative energy". Let's just make the foreign oil, that the Left tries to demonize for political purposes, into domestic oil. Energy problem solved.

1. Sweden ($455,300,000,000). I mean, I'm saving us nearly a TRILLION dollars, and we were looking for "stimulus", right???

Change? How 'bout a $1,000,000,000,000???

The Top 5 Most Courageous Men in America

In light of the passage by our House of Representatives of a $1,200,000,000,000 spending bill (if we all paid equally, which we don't, that would be $4,000 each), I would like to heap praise upon 5 men who put principle above politics, who were actual bi-partisan agents of change. None of these men are Republicans - they merely did what their constituents sent them to Washington to do for them. Not all of them are Conservatives, although I am only enamored of those who are, but all of them stayed true to the Founding Principles. Because of that, I want to express my extreme gratitude, and do what the MainStream Media inevidibly won't do, and tell the true tale of these heroic men.

5. Congressman Allen Boyd(D - FL). The elected representative of The Sunshine State's 2nd District. Yes, this is Conservative North Florida, but it includes the Marxist enclave of Talahassee. Congressman Boyd is a principled Blue Dog Democrat, and stayed true to his Blue Dog principles with his vote. He said, " I have serious concerns that this level of deficit spending without a plan toward fiscal responsibility will only make our economic problems worse. This stimulus package does not address the issues that we know are at least partly responsible for the economic downturn, and that is years of irresponsible fiscal policies rooted in out-of-control spending and borrowing." He followed up that gleeming spotlight of truth with, "I want to see a stimulus package that quickly gets money into the hands of the people who are going to spend it and lays out some sort of framework that puts us on a path toward fiscal responsibility, I want the stimulus package to include a strategic way forward that fosters an innovative business environment and leads to job creation and a stronger economy. Economists all agree that we cannot sustain the level of spending in the stimulus package over the long run, so I want to have more confidence that each provision is temporary, targeted, timely , and truly stimulative. That is what I hope to see in the stimulus package that ultimately becomes law."
Now that's hope we can truly believe in.

4. Congressman Paul Kanjorski(D-PA). The elected representative of the 11th District of the Keystone State. This district includes Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, and Hazelton - bastions of pro-Labor Liberalism. A stalwart of fiscal responsibility, Kanjo said after the I-35W Bridge collapse of 2007, Minnesotans "discovered they were going to get all the money from the federal government and they were taking all they could get." My boy.
Of the Obama Spending bill, Kanjo said, "While I absolutely agree that we must stimulate our economy to help it recover from its troubled state, I am concerned that this bill does not represent an effective plan to ensure our economic recovery. We face the most challenging economic crisis since the Great Depression, yet this bill merely throws money at the problem by expanding existing programs. We have not taken the time to fully understand the nature and the full scope of the collapse of our economy, and so we have not taken the time to understand how to target the problems with innovative solutions. While I recognize the urgency of the situation, we would do better to follow the advice of an old civil engineer friend of mine who often cautioned that to do a job correctly, it is better to go slow in the planning to allow you to go fast in the implementation." A Democrfat who doesn't want to throw our money at a problem, now that would be change I could believe in.

3. Congressman Jim Cooper (D-TN). The elected representative of The Volunteer State's 5th District, Cooper is hardly one of my favorite politicians. His domestic policy votes have been autrocious, although he is an arch-enemy of Shrillary, which gives him bonus points. However, his courage on this vote cannot be denied. His district has not voted for a Republican since 1847, which means that half of his constituency approve of unabashed government spending, and the other half lives off of it. He would not have been held to account by one voter, if he had capitulated to Pelosi's partisan pressure. But he did not. Cooper believed, "some provisions - including $200 million to repair the National Mall and $50 million in grants for the National Endowment for the Arts - shouldn't be part of a stimulus bill. And the bill's additional Medicaid funding for states could create an expectation that the higher level of support will continue in the future."
That, my friends, unlike the frequent misuse of the phrase, is "truth to power."

2. Congressman Walt Minnick(D-ID). Although Obamamania swept many freshman representatives into Congress this year, Minnick's rise was probably unrelated. He is a veteran, and help to create the DEA - two things that Liberals vehemently oppose, and he worked for Nixon, which to Liberals is almost as bad as listening to Rush Limbaugh. He won a Republican district in the Republican stronghold of Idaho. Nonetheless, he displayed magnificent Blue Dog principles on the Obama Spending Bill. He said, "every nickel we spend is going to be borrowed, I think we have to be focused and laser-like on what we can afford and what we spend money on. We can't simply afford everything that would be nice to do if we have the money. I think it's important that we look through this list and decide what really creates the most jobs soon."
The audacity of reason.

1. Congressman Frank Kratovil, Jr. (D-MD). Okay, let's put aside the fact that his name is Frank. Let's put aside the fact that he represents the Eastern Shore, playground of my forefathers. Claiming that a district in the People's Republic of Maryland leans Republican, is like saying that a parenting technique by Britney Spears leans responsible. There is nothing that I share with this guy, other than a name. Yet, given the opportunity to make bones with his new colleagues, Kratovil stood by his principles. He said, “Although these may be admirable causes, they certainly are not emergencies and should not be lumped in with legitimate efforts to strengthen our economy and get people back to work, our economy is in crisis, and it’s going to take a combination of tough choices and fiscal responsibility to give it the boost it needs.”
Although two other freshmen (Bright and Griffith - along with Minnick) voted against the bill, they all represent solidly Red states. For that, Frank, Jr. gets my Top 5 Medal of Valor.

An Alternate Take

Francis loves to take jabs at my taste in chicks; however, unlike myself, Francis has no problem bullshitting the reading public into believing he has flawless, elite taste in hot chicks. (which he would like you to believe means the chick must at least have C-tities) Like I have said before, I'm gonna shoot from the hip- no bullshit. For example, my favorite day of the week is Monday. Not because of Monday Night Football, or Big Monday on ESPN, but because at 8 pm on CW I get to watch the greatest show on television- Gossip Girl. For those of you who are judging, you have obviously never watched this gift from the small screen. So, if Francis was shooting from the hip, his Top 5 would HAVE to include at least one frumpy, pear-shaped, smalled-lunged star, i.e. Melissa Joan-Hart or Amanda Bynes. A Top 5 with his name attached to it, lacking one of these ladies or one of physical similarity, is truly a farce; because, whenever one of their movies appears on his digital cable guide, that sumbitch can't find the OK button quick enough. Also, I believe the reading public will completely agree, Rachel Glandorf (Colt McCoy's girlfriend) is F'n hot.
(she's on the left)

5. Christina Aguilera

Pittsburgh's finest has been on my list since high school. She even looked hot pregnant. Not to mention, I would love to see all of her 14 piercings.

4. Megan Fox

She is my prediction to be this year's Queen of the Hardwood in Seattle's Bigger Dance competition. Francis mentions that she was one of David Silver's girlfriends, but, she won't be the last of David's conquests on my list. And like Francis said, did you see the car scene in Transformers?????

3. Tiffani Amber-Thiessen

I mean, come on, it's Kelly Kapowski!!! Yet another of David Silver's girlfriends, but as much of a tool as I think he is, that sumbitch consistently slams ripping hot chicks. If she doesn't make a cameo on the 00's version of 90210, I am gonna be really disappointed.

2. Stacy Keibler

Have you seen her??? God bless America!!!! First off, she's got 42-inch legs from hip to ankle. Second, she's from Balmur and went to a CAA school. Third, any chick this ripping hot who can do a hurricanrana off the top rope to claim the WWF's Women's World Championship belt gets me from six to midnight.

1. Marisa Miller

Come on . . .

2009's First Top 5

Okay. This is what this blog is really about. The Consigliere & I "unlaminating" our "list" - that's "The One with Frank Jr." (Season 3, episode 5) for those who don't know - and trying to one-up each other with greater and greater levels of female hotness (although The C usually comes up w/ Colt McCoy's girlfriend or some big-calfed softball player), so, so much for taste. But, anyway, I present the opening volley for 2009. I think you'll recognize a trend here:

5. Monica Bellucci

Okay, okay. So, she's Vincent Cassel (aka Francois Toulor)'s wife, which is a knock on her. But, come on..

Right?!?

4. Erica Ellyson

Okay, okay. Yes, my opinion has been swayed by watching the awful Momma's Boys. And, yes, she should be banned from any self-respecting man's list just for giving prepubescent Clay Buchholz a second thought. But, shit, I mean, come on...

3. Meagan Fox

First of all, I'd like to eliminate all of David Silver's girlfriends from contention, but, I have to say, that's a fairly impressive list: Kelly Kapowski, Brenda Barrett, etc. Anyway, after the "under the hood" scene from Transformers it really wouldn't matter if she was dating Samantha Ronson, or, dare I say, Tony Romo.

2. Odette Yustman

I haven't seen The Unborn, and thanks to my cowardly wife and my lack of movie-going friends, I won't see it until it comes to DVD. But, just the preview alone does it for me. She was smoking in Cloverfield, not enough to save that piece of crap, and she had a bit role along side #3 in the aforementioned Transformers, who knew??? Anyway, if this doesn't convince you...

1. Jessica Jaymes

Yeah. The others are nice, but I ain't into no pretenders - I'm about a girl who's down for whatever, whenever. In other words, not Rachel Glandorf.

Let's hear yours.

Top 5 Most Futile Redskins Moments, 1992-2008

Jim Zorn's initial outing as leader of his "Maroon & Black" culminated in a loss at the 6-9 SF 49ers yesterday. It was the culmination of "full body dry heave" by the once 6-2 Deadskins, and a continuation of 17 years of futility and disappointment. So, before we get to any reflection of this wasted season, or, dare I say, any speculations for the off-season or next year, let's look back at the 5 most futile moments Redskins fans have had to endure since our last Super Bowl appearance:



5. January 9, 1993. San Francisco 49ers 20, Redskins 13.



Ugh. This was the last game of the Joe Gibbs I era. They were defending Super Bowl champs, but had struggled mightily. They were at different points 2-2, and 6-5. They had won most of their games very closely (except beating the Phoenix Cardinals 41-3) and lost most very badly (except a 1 point loss to close the season vs. the LA Raiders). They lost 2 to close the season, they finished 3rd in the NFC East, and things looked sketchy going into the playoffs. But, then, Coach Gibbs took the boys into the Metrodome and whooped the NFC Central champion, Minnesota Vikings. (btw, this was Denny Green's rookie season, and the team included future futility-mongers, Rich Gannon and Terry Allen) Skins fans everywhere were juiced with the possibilty of a playoff run that would lead to the successful defense of the Super Bowl Championship. That would not be.

After coming out flat and spotting the 49ers a 17-3 halftime lead, the defending champs battled back to put the game within reach at 17-13. But, a sustained drive, and a Mike Cofer FG put the game away for the 49ers.

The first of many, many, many disappointing season endings.



4. The 2001 Season.



This was the last time that the Redskins went 8-8. It was also under a first-year head coach, Marty Schottenheimer. Much like this season's version, the '01 Skins were abyssmal on offense - ranking 28th of 31 in NFL scoring. The Tony Banks, Stephen Davis, Michael Westbrook offense (plus the ridiculous 2-game tenure of Jeff George) were quite reminiscent of the Campbell, Portis, Moss version - lame.

But 2001 seemed to be the exact opposite of 2008. The '01 version started out 0-5, and, then, found their footing, and reeled off 5 straight wins. They closed out the season with 2 impressive victories - putting up 40 on the road in New Orleans, and posting 340 yds vs. 187 yds for the Cardinals in the finale. Unlike this year, the season ended with optimism of things to come.

Then...

Boy Wonder felt the need for the Steve Spurrier Experiment. The rest, as they say, is history.



3. 1999.



The last time that the Skins won the NFC East. The Norvell offense had finally - finally - started to pay off. The team finished 2nd in the NFL in scoring with 443 points. That's 443 points with Brad Johnson, Skip Hicks, and Albert Connell. They were the antithesis of the anemic ninnies that Zorny put on FedEx Field this season. Yet, when they met the Tampa Bay Bucs in the Divisional playoff game, their defense gave up a measely 14 points, and lost. It was eerily familiar watching this crew this season, and reflecting on the '99 Skins. Some of that may have to do with the fact that Mike Sellers and James Thrash played on both teams - 9 years apart!!!

Dear God, why did you make me a Redskin fan?



2. 2000.



Also a deja vu of this season, the 2000 'Skins also started off 6-2, and also finished 8-8. The '00 'Skins, though, went into week 9 having won 5 games in a row, capped off by a 35-16 shalaquing of the Jags in Jacksonville. They followed this up with a 2008-esque faceplant on MNF. They, of course, went on to lose 6 of 8, including back-to-back home division loses to the GMen & Igles. Those were bittersweet loses, for they stung, but they sang the death knell of Norvell Turner, a glorious occasion for all of us.

It seemed as if young Dan Snyder had so much promise then. If we only knew...



and, of course...



1. 2005.



This has to be the most painful for young Redskin fans, it seems that pre-Gibbs fans, like our Pops, are quite accustomed to Redskin futility. For those of us who revelled in the Gibbs I era, we were spoiled by the curse of winning expectations, but, at least, we have seen the glory of the coming of the Vince Lombardi Trophy. For those, like the Consigliere, to whom the glory days are but tales of myth and legend, the 2005 season was like a time portal. The Joe Gibbs-led Skins were back in the playoffs. They had snatched victory from the jaws of defeat in Big D on MNF in week 2. They fell to 5-6, but reeled off 5 straight wins to close the season, including back-to-back-to-back division wins vs. Dallas, NY, and @ Philly. They put up 52 on the '9ers. CP put up 1500+ yards, and Tana went to the Pro Bowl. It was the Best of Times.

And, then, it was over.

The steady arm of Matt Hasselbeck, and the steady foot of Josh Brown killed our dreams. Again.



Hail...

The Alma Mater takes our lead...

www.kusports.com has produced it's own slew of 2008 Top 5's. I approve.

http://www2.kusports.com/weblogs/dugan_man/2008/dec/17/top-5-kansas-football-stories-of-2008/

http://www2.kusports.com/weblogs/newell_post/2008/dec/17/top-5-ku-football-plays-from-the-2008-season/

http://www2.kusports.com/weblogs/heard_hill/2008/dec/17/top-5-ku-stories-of-2008/

http://www2.kusports.com/weblogs/keegan_ratings/2008/dec/17/top-5-postseason-moments-for-the-2007-08-ku-basket/